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Saturday night
Jan. 18th, 2003 07:15 pmWe're getting ready to go to the Gnostic Mass. I need something steadying and predictable. Last night I finally used the present Martin brought me from Starwood. I had an interesting night, to say the least. I just don't have the energy I used to. Spent most of the ritual listening to Vivaldi and Bach.
I still have "God" in my head, leftover from my Jewish upbringing. When I get down to the deepest levels, I am not sure the universe makes sense; I have no sense, after last night, that there is a deity that cares. I had a sense of great indifference.
Of course, such things are often a reflection of oneself.
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It looks like, by the time I figure it out, I'll be retired.
Well, I have a better sense that the Infinite is out there, but what it means to me, what I am supposed to do with my knowledge, I haven't the faintest clue.
I still have "God" in my head, leftover from my Jewish upbringing. When I get down to the deepest levels, I am not sure the universe makes sense; I have no sense, after last night, that there is a deity that cares. I had a sense of great indifference.
Of course, such things are often a reflection of oneself.
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It looks like, by the time I figure it out, I'll be retired.
Well, I have a better sense that the Infinite is out there, but what it means to me, what I am supposed to do with my knowledge, I haven't the faintest clue.
