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Many weird dreams last night. In one, I was looking at an apartment in Florida with my parents and Cousin Bernice. My parents were urging me to take the place. My father pointed out you could see the ocean, or maybe the Gulf, from the living room window. I looked out and saw a courtyard with a fountain below, then more buildings, and just barely could see the water. But I knew this meant I could walk to the sea. But I didn't want to take it, because I don't want to live in Florida. Just two rooms, and a bathroom and a kitchenette, and up two or three flights of stairs. Low ceilings, like it was the attic. I knew that it would be two small for Martin and me - only my family doesn't know about Martin.
I know, it's kind of strange. We've been together for 13 years. But they treated Paul so badly, I didn't want to tell them about Martin at first. Somehow, I never have. What would I tell them? He isn't Jewish, not only doesn't have a respectable job, he has no job. He lives on SSI, and spends his day working on obscure magical research, or reading.
The other dream was about Martin and me, traveling in some sort of mobile home. We were visiting a friend of a friend. All I can remember now is the FoaF giving me a book to give Steve. It was on accounting, and I didn't think Steve would be interested, but the fellow said, but he helped me on the first part. I opened it, and the first part was a history of accounting, going back to Egyptian and Babylonian times, and Steve had done translations for it.
My life seems so odd. So much to do, but no energy or motivation to do it. The house is a mess, so much clutter, but it's so hard to throw anything. I seldom write any more; I have tons of partially finished writing.
When I started posting on-line, I thought I would write rants that would be worth showing other people, with ideas for action, links for more information, that sort of thing. Since the first one, nothing.
And I don't really know how to use this site very well. I can't compose offline, which limits me. I thought there would be more community, somehow. Perhaps there is, and I don't know how to use it.
Perhaps I am finally having a mid-life crisis.
I know, it's kind of strange. We've been together for 13 years. But they treated Paul so badly, I didn't want to tell them about Martin at first. Somehow, I never have. What would I tell them? He isn't Jewish, not only doesn't have a respectable job, he has no job. He lives on SSI, and spends his day working on obscure magical research, or reading.
The other dream was about Martin and me, traveling in some sort of mobile home. We were visiting a friend of a friend. All I can remember now is the FoaF giving me a book to give Steve. It was on accounting, and I didn't think Steve would be interested, but the fellow said, but he helped me on the first part. I opened it, and the first part was a history of accounting, going back to Egyptian and Babylonian times, and Steve had done translations for it.
My life seems so odd. So much to do, but no energy or motivation to do it. The house is a mess, so much clutter, but it's so hard to throw anything. I seldom write any more; I have tons of partially finished writing.
When I started posting on-line, I thought I would write rants that would be worth showing other people, with ideas for action, links for more information, that sort of thing. Since the first one, nothing.
And I don't really know how to use this site very well. I can't compose offline, which limits me. I thought there would be more community, somehow. Perhaps there is, and I don't know how to use it.
Perhaps I am finally having a mid-life crisis.
